" Many people don't understand why I feel this way, if my family is also, if my kids are also, if nothing happened to me," says Professor Madeleine Cova.
" I'm generally sad".
She has been instructed to describe it as a state of deep sadness rather than despair.
They don't seem to know that I spent too much time with my children, they say.
It refers to the two earthquakes that occurred in Venezuela on June 24 and that killed his kids.
There are people who question why I'm still feeling so bad and who don't know my feelings.
Cova and the pupils he taught had a really close relationship.
They told me about their issues, their objectives, we talked a bit, we went out to eat, and I went to their birthday party.
Mothers who lost their boys call me, read to me, and we soothe one another. I tell them," I don't know how you wake up every morning. How will you feel knowing that you are the family if I feel terrible? It hurts so much that I can't even describe it because it also bothers me. ”
I feel guilty because I don't want to feel good or because I don't want to forget how much they meant to me and that they are no more there. I feel guilty.
They were like my kids, in my opinion.
According to federal information, Cova was born in La Guaira, the status that was most severely affected by the disasters that left more than 6,500 people dying.
Additionally, according to estimates from different sources, the drama left thousands of people without.
Professor Cova taught Castellano and Literature classes from the first year of secondary school in La Guaira before the disaster.
She also served as the school's second-year ( secondary ) coordinator at Juan José Mendoza, where she still works.
The instructor posted a video she dedicated to her students on TikTok in July.
He wrote," The earthquake took a part of me: my 15 private students and my 100 public students. "
One of the statements you can read while watching the teens and her at school is," You didn't need to leave. "
In a video call from La Guaira, he says," In that gift are kids I lost and their coworkers. "
" When I made the picture, I had 115 students who had died. This fact has evolved. More than 230 children are dying and more than 200 are missing now in the public high school.
The state officially began the new school year across the nation on September 14th.
President Delcy Rodrigues observed the children and adolescents who had died in the earthquake that morning.
11 universities have fallen, 1, 017 have been impacted, many of them have already been repaired, and others are now recovering, he said.
More than 86, 000 students who were affected by the double disaster have been moved to different universities to study.
According to Professor Cova, many of the Juan José Mendoza high school students resided in some of the La Guaira's most destroyed places, according to Professor Cova.
The statistics are horrifying, with some kids leaving children and many more dying. In truth, we are the academic institution with more than 230 confirmed fatalities.
We had roughly 22 intermediate sections of what are common secondary, not including main years. Before there were initial time A, first year B, second year C, D, E, and even F, we just filled five of those 22 sections, one per year.
In the background, having just one part is devastating because so many students are lost, as well as all those who have traveled to other Venezuelan states to find temporary homes with their relatives. Many of our kids have been lost. ”
" The instructors are broken, and we are absolutely broken. "
It is heartbreaking to think about the deceased kids on both estates.
It seems like I have lost a portion of my system.
He claims that he lost 16 of his students at the school where he taught Castellano and Literature.
When he thinks of them, he believes that, "in some way," he might have done something to" never shed them. "
Why did I chose to sleep on that trip day and not build something with them, I ask myself? " This terrible feeling of guilt vilifies me. Why didn't I send a surprise invitation to the kids to the shore? Why did I choose not to do that or that? And all of this makes me feel awful.
I feel bad for not being there when they were looking for them among the fallen properties because I had to travel to Caracas to care for my daughter who was hurt.
These kids were my joy, and it's not that they're changing that pleasure for me and my household.
When she explained to me that going to school would lead to "my content place," she grinned.
My evenings reminded me of a different world. I arrived before the bell was ringed, and they came in a class, where some people said," Made, grace, I guess.
We had two 20-minute games for lunch and dinner, and one of the students said," Made, come around that I'll tell you a problem," or" You know what happened to me," but I don't because they couldn't. He and they were my associates, and I was one of them.
And it is that she recalls that if she were to be defeated one day, they would have noticed.
They said to me," What's wrong with you Made? '' because I was very silent and it wasn't even that I had a terrible experience.
According to Cova, she was born to be a tutor.
I resided in my mother's home with my home. She recalls from her early years that there was a large walls and a lawn with lots of flowers in her patio.
I taught those plants, they were my students, and I had always wanted to be a teacher since I was a young child.
It is essential for Cova for each student to feel heard, seen, and loved. Our adolescent needs that.
He claims that" the teachers here in Venezuela are quite close. "
" I know", I say. I have fond remembrances of my professors in Caracas ' institutions. In fact, I'm still in touch with my beloved tutor, Claret, who was in charge of my high school math. This relationship is unaware of how time moves.
According to Cova's practice, some young people find it easier to be honest with the teachers they interact with and think more free to express their feelings.
We tell the student," Travel here, why do you feel like this? , what happened? , why are you not writing? "
One relaxes on some subjects, clears their concerns, comforts them, and says," This look for a return to this concern, quiet," and they listen to you.
He praises the breadth of scientific content available online, but he says, "it is in us to apply the pedagogy of love, to create that knowledge important, to appreciate it, to stay with them. "
Additionally, that the institution meeting is worthwhile, that they "take care of the area" and feel inspired.
The scientific may be brief, but I adore how they are aware that they are not just a number and not just a puppy.
What you will never miss is how we treat them, though," Sometimes one subject or another may forget. "
When she entered the private university where she taught, a group of fourth-year high school students "flashed" her, in her recall.
There were men with unique abilities, children who didn't want to be exposed, but they both loved it.
They gave me a very personal amazement on one of my birthdays, and we started talking.
And why do you see me as a hero, superperson, and Greek queen, he says in a joke voice while grinning at them?
One of them said," Take the word"
because you have wings.
And how is that?
People who contemplate the beauty of their wings are the ones who see them because butterflies do not see their own charm.
That comment marked her not only at the time, but it also made her cry.
We were taught to be "intense all," so" come, show yourself," what do you mean?
" From that part, I lost three kids," I said.
She talks to me about one of them and her skill for painting while we are both crying.
It makes me a great lady because it is beautiful, beautiful, and sweet.
Or the scholar who was extremely shy before realizing he was performing drama outside of class.
After he didn't even speak in the hall, I appointed him as the director of the last plays of the lapso and he was in charge of organizing the cluster. He also had a great authority.
And he responded," Made, bless you. I was annoyed because I possessed the fake symptoms. He wrote wonderfully, but he claimed there was a problem with everyone. No, you're gorgeous, glance at everything you do, and you're very useful, I said. I miss it a lot, I tell myself. ”
In the disaster that took place in La Guaira in 1999, Cova lost his father.
It caused me to lose up to 20 pounds because of despair, and this was my first significant mourning.
They are all my brothers, and they miss me, they seem to me. I want to know that despite no being with me, they are still alright abroad.
" I have been really affected by the loss of those who died and those who left the state. "
I'm aware of their condition, which helps a small, but I'd like to remain with them.
He has no intention of going back to the private university where he taught Castellano at this time.
I had to leave that place because I couldn't come up because of the pain. I made an unsuccessful entry attempt, but it left me with too many recollections of my 16 boys.
I don't know how to identify it because I feel like I've been lost from a part of my body, like I have missed an finger. I only know it's very lonely to live here.
He claims that he has friends who reside on the other side of the condition and that he must travel through one of the states ' hardest-hit areas to get there.
It's a big fight, I'm in the car and I'm feeling very depressed as I go round.
And it is because he notices the remains that some of his pupils ' homes have fallen into.
" I knew my kids, I knew where they lived," said the father.
I've often been from La Guaira, so I can't imagine living anywhere else. It's difficult to adjust to different environments, one is the water, and one is these sunsets, which is something that makes the guaireo special.
" My sister proposed to move to Caracas, and thank God, she is now better. "
From his house, he claims that" suffered minor harm" and that" the fear oftentimes invades me," but that" this is where I am, my mother, my family, even though I do not abandon it. "
He is still employed as a professor at the public school Juan José Mendoza, a university that, I will tell you, has been subjected to cooling and has not suffered structural damage.
" In the meantime, we are taking care of the kids at a different entity close by. "
Nova enlisted in the professor of a different university. " A classmate who gave me my task passed away, and they called me. "
A very good team of psychologists attended the greeting, and they will begin taking care of us because the staff's well-being is crucial.
She says," I didn't want to admit it, but I need it. " I was denied, but I need to get guided because I'm deeply depressed.
Some of my students ask me to" Make a point, no, stay quiet, let's live for them and for us. " They have raised me up, wrote to me, and given me advice, as well as those who left La Guaira because they lost everything.
Calls are made by CVV to assist the La Guaira professors and other locations that have been impacted by the disasters.
How do you get rid of the problems when your work source is hugging you and you are a teacher?
He reminds me to keep in mind that teachers in high school shift parties every minute and a half. Think of the professors who spend the day with their kids and endure suffering for the ones they lost.
The Alborada Civil Youth Association has a school that offers primary schooling, from the paternal level to the second degree of pre-school, in the hands of Yssa Hernández, the teacher and director of.
In a picture phone from that plant in Caraballeda," about 300 feet from the zero zone," he says," we lost eight individuals. "
" And there are others who have left the state, and the majority have immigrated," he said.
His intention is to begin taking lessons soon. According to the government, the membership is 110 children in a typical year. There are 11 enrolled this time.
" These two decades have been very difficult because we're all up," he said.
They provided outdoor care and mental conflict to children between the ages of 3 and 12 in July with the assistance of retired teachers and non-governmental and religious organizations.
A lady told us she wanted to be a hero so she could travel over properties and help people when an disaster strikes, according to Laura Brito.
Oneida Castillo, a different instructor, recalls the moment the kids came up to her. One person said to me," Professor, my dad lost his arm," and the other," My aunt and uncle died," and so many things started to happen, but it was all about the deceased. It was very, very depressing. He was in a broken spirit. Without knowing what to say, I gave them a hug. ”
According to Hernandez, Cecodap, a nonprofit that defends children's rights, offers mental assistance to both children and parents in its workforce.
The tutor says," The educators will touch us to have and guide. " We must lighten each household this school year, they say.
So, he thinks it is crucial that the affected area's teachers and staff also receive psychological support.
On the first day of class, Castillo has previously considered what he will impart to his students:
Because this is your home, I am here for you, to give you many love.
